How my consultation with McNamara/Troy would go....

So, I won a free consultation with these guys......this is how it went down (the G-rated version)

Dr. Troy: Welcome to McNamara/Troy. Tell us what you don't like about yourself.

Me: Well, I'm really not sure why I'm here. I won this consult....and I really just wanted to see how hot you really are. But, since I'm here in your office, I do have these mutant thumbs you could take a look at. I just want to have smooth thumb nails like everybody else.

Dr. McNamara: Go on, tell us more.

Me: Well, I've had these funny looking thumbs ever since I was a little girl. I know I'm not going to be a hand model, but I have to do a lot with my hands around my patients. I catch them staring. It's embarrassing.

Dr. Troy: Are you kidding? This is lame. And yes, I am very hot.

Dr. McNamara: Be quiet Christian, let her finish. Please continue Ms.

Me: .....er....OK.....well, I wore band-aids for the first month I was dating my husband because I didn't want him to see or feel the grotesque bumpy nails.

Dr. Troy: Come on sugar, don't you need some implants or something???? We could really fix you up.

Dr. McNamara: Christian, knock it off.

Me: No, I'm good in that area. They could use a lift, but I'm not done having children. No sense in wasting the money right now. Plus, I am happy with my body. I can just get a better bra.

Dr. Troy: Are you kidding me???!! OK, then you could REALLY benefit from a nice tummy tuck.

Me: Again, no thanks. I'm planning on having more children. Plus, my husband likes my soft belly. He realizes I'm not a super model---he loves me the way I am.

Dr. Troy: Lady, you are really wasting our precious time. We could at least fix up your nose while you are here.

Me: No, I've seen that surgery before. Nasty. Plus, Husband likes my cute nose. You know what Dr. Troy, you might be sexy, but you sure are rude.

Dr. McNamara: What about some calf implants? You do have scrawny looking legs. We could stick some implants in there and beef them up a bit.
Me: See, and I think that is my best feature.
Dr. Troy: Look babe, we can fix those thumbs since you obviously won't let us fix anything else. We can squeeze you in this afternoon. The entire surgery is only going to cost you $20,000. Oh, and I don't think your insurance covers any of it.
Me: You know what Dr. Troy, you've actually made me realize I'm OK with what I have. I might have these funky thumbs, but that is what makes me, ME.



Dr. McNamara: Interesting concept. Liking you, for who YOU are. Hmmmm, I think this girl is on to something.
Dr. Troy: Maybe we should stop doing surgeries and start holding seminars for "Loving What You've Got."
Dr. McNamara & Dr. Troy: NAH!!! (laughing hysterically)

Well, I tried. These guys will never change.

My advice: Be yourself, cuz everyone else is taken!! Just be happy with YOU!

Oh, gotta go. Nip/Tuck is almost on....and Dr. Troy is still hot, even though he is an a$$!